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    Download the transcription of this podcast.

    Intimacy in a relationship is the ability to strip off your masks so someone can see who you truly are. Often people think that taking a pill will help them with the intimacy in their relationship. Unfortunately physically altering your brain chemistry doesn’t solve the communication problems that exist.

    We use flirting to determine who is a good candidate to be our partner in life. It’s often like a radio station broadcasting on a frequency. Each has their own flirting behavior and they use it to find someone that can easily pick up on their style. After marriage your flirting turns into a secret love language that only you and your partner can understand.

    When someone is trying to reconnect with their partner they have to re-learn to speak to each other in their set flirting language. They have to discuss where the communicative problems lie. Asking questions, such as “what do you like”, ”what do you dislike”, ” what’s effective and what’s ineffective” are great for starting the dialog.

    Things that interfere in a relationship are often chosen, such as children. If you decide to have 3 or 4 children you accept that those children are going to demand time and attention. It’s important to take care of your chosen responsibilities while still taking care of yourself and your intimate relationship with your partner. Flirting is important to let each other know that you’re there and that connections can be made innocently but meaningfully.
    With bioidentical hormones chemically fixing ones sexual desire, a couple needs to still work together, ideally through therapy, in order to fix their flirtative communication.

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    Download the transcription of this podcast.

    Dr. Kathy Maupin and relationship counselor Brett Newcomb talk about sensuality and eroticism in healthy sexual relationships.

    • Talk about what you like, what feels good to you, what is painful, what turns you off.
    • Provide feedback, express yourself during sex.
    • Factors of arousal, building up to sex, plan ahead.
    • Sensuality and eroticism are enhancing behaviors in a marriage.
    • No mater what you learned as a child, it is not “nasty” to have sexual desire and to think eroticized thoughts.
    • Recognize that a healthy fantasy life is a central ingredient to a satisfing sex life.
    • Think about taking the risk to discuss or share your fantasies with your partner.
    • Remember lead time. It is significantly more than foreplay.
    • Physical sensuality is not just hedonistic and self-absorbed behavior.
    • Your body comes with five senses. Use all five.
    • Plan and prepare for “making love” as well as having sex.
    • Talk to your partner about what is erotic to you.
    • Talk to your partner about what things are sensual for you. Ladies remember wen he says he likes something about you or on you (like a nightgown, bluejeans, or something) do not dismiss it scornfully because you don’t happen to think it enhances you.

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